Coming Clean
by McNovelist
Summary: It is not unusual for Gibbs' team to be a little shaken up after a bad case. But this time, the fearless leader has a particularly bad feeling about DiNozzo. After doing a little investigating of his own, he uncovers a secret and won't rest until his senior field agent is safe once more. Major father/son, no slash.
1. Chapter 1

The team sat in a solemn stillness at the close of another long week. The office was gradually falling darker as workers from the surrounding desks switched off their lamps and retreated one by one to the elevator for the weekend's reprieve. The bullpen was silent but for the slow and soothing buzz of McGee's snores; sleep had taken the agent slouching backwards in his chair, his battered suit jacket draped over his chest. It was a testament to the nature of the week their fearless leader had put them through that said leader did not react to McGee's outward display of exhaustion. Instead, Gibbs looked rather pensive; leaning back in his chair, he subconsciously scrubbed a palm against his chin, as though to will away the danger the three agents that sat before him had been placed in this week.

To his right, Ziva David absent-mindedly rearranged the stationary on her desk over and over again, as if desperate for some sense of purpose to distract from the feelings of helplessness they all felt only hours before, when it seemed they had finally met their match. Her eyes were glazed, her stare absent, as her hands repeated the unnecessary shuffling of staplers and highlighters. After some consideration, Gibbs shifted his gaze to the only remaining agent in the room.

He was instantly greeted with a stark and unexpected contrast. Tony DiNozzo was seated upright at his desk, his glare intent on the words appearing on his computer monitor as his hands worked the keyboard. Every now and then he scrunched his brow, pausing only momentarily to glance downwards at the manilla case files scattered around his computer, before ironing out his expression and continuing his work.

Gibbs had told them all that their reports would keep; he didn't expect anything more from his loyal team than for them to head home for the weekend and rest up. But, as per usual, they put up their routine protests of _we're staying if you're staying, _albeit particularly half heartedly, and the result lay in front of him. He suspected they all needed to cope in their own unique ways. McGee needed to return to a state of safety and ignorance, thus he drifted happily into a few short moments of sleep where the horrors of the week could not reach him. Ziva, on the other hand, felt the desperate need to restore some sort of order to a life and team which were almost lost not hours ago, so she worked fruitlessly on restoring order to her desk. But DiNozzo was always different. He would keep his mind occupied by carrying the weight of the entire team on their shoulders while they rested and coped, and in turn, _he will cope too, _thought Gibbs.

They carried on in this manner for a while longer until Tony broke the unintended rhythm of the evening by cautiously lifting his bruised and aching body out of his chair and retrieving the now complete report. Gingerly, he slowly shuffled towards Gibbs' desk and placed the pile of papers before the still reflective agent.

"My report, Boss." He stated the obvious while holding his gaze anywhere but his boss' astute glare, which was now focused on the senior field agent, clearly not missing his reluctance to return the eye contact.

"You didn't need to do it tonight, Tony," Gibbs murmured quietly, almost as if not to break the other agents out of their own states of recovery.

"Well," started DiNozzo, who had apparently lost control of his hands, which were now scratching nervously at the back of his head. "Thought I'd just get it done, didn't want this one on my mind all weekend."

"Uh huh," Gibbs nodded with a regretful smirk, knowing full well that this case would be haunting his senior field agent all weekend, if not longer, regardless of whether or not a meaningless stack of papers were neatly assembled on his desk. "Come on," he nodded his head towards the elevator. "Let's go back to mine, there's a half eaten pizza in the fridge with your name on it."

"Oh, that's alright, Boss," Tony answered, still finding it immensely difficult to maintain eye contact with Gibbs, although entirely unsure of why. "There's a couple of things I want to do tonight. Just gonna head home now and, ugh -" He picked absent-mindedly at his fingernails, as if purging them of the week's uncleanliness - "get started on them," he finished, with considerable effort.

Never removing his glare from the agent, Gibbs watched on as DiNozzo gathered up his things, mumbled a goodbye and made his way into the elevator.

Gibbs moved to the rain sodden window as he watched DiNozzo exit the car park. Racking his brain, he kept a concern eye on the car until, after many bends and turns, it disappeared along with its puzzling driver into the night.

Next chapter to come very soon. While I know where this one is going, feel free to review and let me know what you'd like to see next; I'm always open to incorporating your awesome ideas. Thanks again for all the lovely feedback for my last story 'Broke' - it always makes me smile.


	2. Chapter 2

After watching DiNozzo's car vanish into the night, Gibbs roused Ziva and McGee one by one and sent them home. They both showed preliminary signs of protest at this request until they, somewhat belatedly, noticed their teammate had also left the building. Quietly, they gathered their bags and coats, mumbled their goodnights, and disappeared into the elevator.

Finally, Gibbs let out a long and weighted sigh. 'DiNozzo,' he began mumbling to himself. 'What am I going to do about you?'

While he had tried to ignore it for weeks, to give his agent some privacy, there was no denying that something was wrong. The way DiNozzo had been nervous for weeks, unable to look him in the eye and fiddling with his hair was one thing, but the way Gibbs _knew_ the stress of the past week would affect him was another.

To ignore it, and demonstrate a wealth of trust in the man who had earned it from him time and time again; or to act on it, and perhaps belittle the agent, encroach on his private life and invade his privacy… Yet possibly save him from something far worse.

Feeling no better after what was at least thirty minutes of silent musings in the empty bullpen, Gibbs collected his few possessions, rode the elevator down to the basement car park, entered the Challenger, and began his route home.

But he couldn't drive in peace, he couldn't put the thoughts at rest, and the whole drive was consumed by doubt. _To check on him or to leave him._ Over and over again he weighed up the pros and cons, trying to convince himself first that he was imagining everything, and then that something was seriously wrong.

When he finally reached the highway the decision was simplified. _Left for home, right for DiNozzo._ Approaching the red light slower than any member of his team could vouch for in the history of Gibbs' driving, he hovered between the two lanes while racking his brain. Suddenly, he jerked into the left, and prepared himself for the journey home.

But as he sat before the glistening red lights, his mind would not be put to rest. Something about the way Tony had picked at his hands, unable to look him in the eye, was oddly familiar.

As soon as the light changed to green, he hit the accelerator hard and swerved into the right lane. Met with a chorus of horns and shouts, he waved absently to the driver who had so kindly 'let him in,' and set off down the highway for DiNozzo's apartment.

Now it came down to the facts. Gibbs had sent Ziva and McGee home no more than ten minutes after DiNozzo left the navy yard, and then spent thirty minutes at his desk before leaving the bullpen. Providing DiNozzo's apartment was the senior field agent's first stop of the night, he should have been there for at least half an hour by now, allowing him sufficient time to get started on the so called 'things' he had in mind.

His gut churned. His foot hit the gas. Instinct had kicked in.

After a retreat to his usual style of driving, Gibbs had pulled up in front of DiNozzo's building within five minutes. Fumbling with the keys in his pocket, he pulled out the spare DiNozzo had given him for emergencies and unlocked the building's security door without second thought. Rushing up the stairs, he swung around the corner to DiNozzo's apartment ready to give his front door the same treatment, stopping himself only just before turning the key.

He froze. There was no concrete evidence that anything was actually wrong with DiNozzo. What if 'things to do' was code for having a woman over, and the picking at his nails was an accidental display of nervousness for the night that lay ahead?

Withdrawing the key from the lock as quietly as he could, Gibbs schooled his expression from panic to calm and knocked rapidly on the door. With an ear pressed against the cool wood, he listened closely for any signs of movement inside the apartment.

Ten seconds passed. Twenty seconds. Thirty. _Knock knock knock._ A minute.

He took the key from his hand and thrust it into the lock once more, this time showing no hesitation before turning the door and striding into the room.

But there was no preparing for what he saw next.

'Tony - ' Gibbs started.

'Oh. Hey, Boss,' he slurred.

DiNozzo swayed on the spot in front of him, giving Gibbs only seconds to shuffle forwards and catch the senior field agent in his arms before he collapsed to the floor.

**_A/N: As always, thanks so much for reading this. I would love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to leave a review. Next instalment coming soon!_**


	3. Chapter 3

Panic started to kick in. Sweat on his upper lip. A trembling hand. What was happening?

Gibbs shook his head violently. Now was not the time to freak out. Looking down, he foundDiNozzo still in his arms. The young man's body lay limp, his mouth slightly parted as he let out a pained moan.

_Thank God,_ Gibbs thought. _At least he's conscious. _

Looking up, DiNozzo's eyes opened into slits and tried desperately to focus on the man above him. _Was that_ - 'Gibbs?'

_Thank God._ 'Yeah, DiNozzo. It's me. Come on, let's get you sitting up.'

It was only once he had lowered Tony carefully onto the rug against the sofa that his expert eye took a moment to survey the apartment. Cushions were scattered across the room. A pocketknife sat on the floor where Gibbs had caught DiNozzo only moments earlier. And on the coffee table lay a string of empty bottles that told the agent everything he needed to know.

'Been having some fun tonight, DiNozzo?'

'Mmmm,' he grunted, dozing off again. The kid was practically unrecognisable; his designer shirt was buttoned all wrong, his usually olive skin was a distinctive shade of green and dark circles had formed under his groggy eyes. Gibbs scanned a trained eye over Tony's body, but found no signs of injury.

The senior agent crouched by the pocketknife and searched for more clues before his eyes fell on the wall by the door. Edging forward, he found a quarter full bottle of rum and a carving in the wall: _STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP._

'Come on,' Gibbs decided. The kid was in no shape to take care of himself tonight. 'Let's get you out of here.'

'Five more minutes,' he mumbled.

'Yeah right.' He scoffed, placing Tony's arm on his shoulder and lifting him onto his feet, much to the senior field agent's audible discomfort.

Carefully, Gibbs navigated the man out into the hallway and summoned the elevator. DiNozzo swayed on his feet.

'You pass out on me, DiNozzo, and I'll slap you so hard your grandchildren will feel it,' he grunted.

'Goddit, Boss,' Tony slurred.

And Gibbs led him, steered him, guided him, until he could safely lower him onto the couch in his own living room.

'Easy, DiNozzo,' he soothed when Tony looked as if he might be sick.

'Thanks, B-Boss,' he managed.

'Think you can make it up to the guest room?'

'In a minute, Boss.'

'Okay,' he sighed. As Tony eased back into the cushions he surveyed the young man's pained face. So many thoughts ran through his head. _What would have happened if I went straight home? How much more would he have drunk? _The kid could barely stand now, what shape would he be in after just one more?

'Why'd you do it, DiNozzo?' He knew the other man would understand him.

A pause.

'To forget,' Tony replied, his eyes still closed.

Gibbs nodded. He understood better than anyone the grief that could lead you to the bottom of a bottle. And that was why he had to make sure that this didn't consume the man who had come to be like a son to him. At that moment, nothing was more important.

'Minute's up, Tony,' he soothed, lifting him onto his feet once more and walking him to the stairs.

'Ready?' He asked, when they reached the first step.

'Uh-uh,' the younger man stammered worriedly.

'Good,' Gibbs replied gruffly. 'Maybe you'll remember this next time you decide to go on a bender.'

But when he helped his agent up the stairs it was with nothing but tenderness and concern, often pausing for a few moments when it looked like Tony wouldn't make it.

When they got to the guest room Gibbs fished out a pair of sweatpants Tony had left here last time he needed a place to stay, coaxing the man out of of the confines of his crumpled suit and into the comfort of the sweats.

'Get some sleep Tony,' he sighed as he eased the man under the covers. 'Cause I've got one hell of a day in store for you tomorrow…'

**_Can't apologise enough for the wait on this one. Uni's been absolutely insane lately, but thankfully I've found some time to write now that I'm on break. I've already started on the next chapter and it's so jam packed with classic Gibbs/DiNozzo father/son moments that it's gonna blow your mind - expect it in the next couple of days. Let me know what you think so far._**


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Tony slowly lifted his throbbing head out of bed and struggled his way down the stairs. Years of being Gibbs' often injured senior field agent had bestowed upon him much knowledge, the most important of which at that particular moment was the exact location of Gibbs' medicine cabinet.

In the kitchen he opened the familiar cupboard and reached in blindly for the aspirin. He could have found it with his eyes closed. If it was actually there, that was…

'Looking for something?' A deep voice startled him from behind. DiNozzo spun around comically, gripping the kitchen bench to stop himself from falling over.

'Boss,' he exhaled. 'You scared the shit out of me.'

'If you think that was scary, DiNozzo, you've got no idea what's coming.' His stare bore holes in Tony. Gibbs removed a hand from behind his back and held up the box of aspirin.

'Oh,' Tony smiled in relief. 'Aspirin. Thanks, Boss.' He walked forward to retrieve it but Gibbs pulled it out of his reach.

'Uh-uh,' the older man shook his head. 'Oh no. No, no, no. I don't think so.'

Tony's smile quickly faded into a frown as he reacher for the medicine again, but years as a Marine sniper left Gibbs' reflexes far too quick for the kid.

'Come on, Boss,' Tony pleaded. 'I feel like a bomb's gone off inside my skull.'

'Good,' Gibbs grunted, his glare never softening. 'Today, you follow my goddamn orders until we get to the bottom of this. You piss me off, that head's gonna feel a whole lot worse. Answer my questions honestly, and I might just think about letting you have one of these.' He waved the packet.

'_Or,_' Tony began with a bitter laugh, 'I could just walk out the front door and get myself some aspirin _right now._' He marched towards the door and reached for the handle. 'Thanks for the bed, Boss,' he mumbled without looking back.

But when Tony's hand twisted the handle the door didn't budge.

'Locked. Very funny, Boss. Very clever,' shaking his head in a mix of frustration and amusement. Did that thing even _have_ a lock?

But Gibbs' stare acknowledged nothing funny about the situation at all. 'You get your ass to the kitchen table,' he instructed. Tony held his ground. 'NOW!' Gibbs' voice shook the room.

Trying his best to hide his shock at the roar, Tony quickly shuffled towards the kitchen table and obediently took a seat.

At the opposite end of the table Gibbs slammed down the aspirin and helped himself to a seat.

'First things first,' and somehow Gibbs' tone let Tony know there would be no room for argument, no matter what this _first thing_ happened to be.

'Last night you proved that you were entirely incapable of taking care of your own life - a life that I've _busted_ myass time and time again to protect.' Gibbs wasn't sure exactly when he'd decided to play the hard ass card, but as he raised a hand to stop DiNozzo from interrupting him, he knew he'd made the right choice.

'So until you can prove to me that you've got more sense than a five year old, you don't get to be trusted with your own life.' The older man wasn't phased by DiNozzo's irritated expression. 'No. From now on, that duty falls to me. So this is how this is gonna go.' Gibbs rose out of his chair and advanced on DiNozzo, perching himself on the table only inches from his face.

'One. Until we sort this out you're staying here. You'll eat, sleep and live in this house until I'm satisfied that you can be trusted to look after yourself. The only time you will leave this house is for duty, which I will personally escort you to and from.' Gibbs' eyes dared DiNozzo to interrupt.

'Two. You will not consume a single drop of alcohol until I deem it appropriate. And after seeing your sorry ass last night, I can tell you right now that moment will not be coming any time soon.' He kept his gaze steady on DiNozzo's.

'Three. You will attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings each - '

'- I'm gonna have to stop you there Boss, because I'm not a -'

The head slap that rung through the kitchen shut him right up.

'I repeat,' Gibbs continued with a finger in front of DiNozzo's face. 'Three. You will attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings each week until you can be sufficiently trusted not to lose control of your substance consumption.'

'And four,' DiNozzo pulled back, wincing, as Gibbs rose a hand. But when the hand fell softly on Tony's shoulder, the young man looked back to see eyes full of nothing but concern staring down at him.

'Four,' Gibbs repeated softly. 'Why'd you do it, Tony? _Why do you do it?_

There was a long silence between the two men before Tony chose to break it. And in breaking it, in _sharing_ this with Gibbs, he took his first step to trusting this man with what had become more of a problem than he was ready to admit.

'I already told you, Boss.' Tony struggled to maintain eye contact. 'To forget.'

Gibbs was shocked that the kid could remember anything from last night at all, let alone _quote _himself. _Probably had a lot of practice,_ he though skeptically. Gibbs could see that the time to be rough had come and gone. He spoke gently.

'Tell me how it started,' he broached.

Tony let out a long, pained breath before starting.

'I don't know, Boss.' He could no longer look the man in the eye. But he couldn't lie to him anymore either. He owed it to him to tell the truth. At least once. So he started talking.

'I want you to know that I'm not - I'm not trying to make an excuse. You, and Tim, and Ziva - you all go to work with me everyday. You see the same things I see. The same horrors. You have the same nightmares -' he looked back to Gibbs briefly - 'I've heard you,' he mumbled after a pause, looking away once more. 'But - and I don't know what it is - but ever since I can remember, even before you let me onto your team at NCIS, I haven't been able to - _handle_ - these things as well as you guys can. These - these _thoughts_ - they just consume me. It's like I'm locked in some cage and I can't get out. So yeah,' he was becoming frustrated now. 'It's not an excuse. But Boss, I swear, when it's 3am and my mind is racing a million miles an hour through everything I've ever seen - from the latest victim on Ducky's slab to my own mother's - ' Enough. Enough for today.

'So yeah,' he concluded. 'Yeah. I need to forget. I do it to forget. I _drink_ to forget.'

As Tony evened his breathing once more, Gibbs kept a solid hand on his shoulder. He had so many doubts about his next move. He was gentle with Tony and the kid answered him honestly. But at the same time he knew DiNozzo responded better to gruffness than to sympathy. If he started getting all soft on him Tony would think Gibbs was going to treat him differently from now on. Treat him as if he were lesser_, weaker_. _And that, _Gibbs thought,_ would ruin him._

Slapping him once on the shoulder, Gibbs rose to his feet. 'Okay,' he nodded, acknowledging in the one word both that he understood what his agent had said, that he couldn't go on right now, but that this was far from over. 'Okay.' He turned for the hall.

'Boss, wait!' The young man's raspy voice was pleading now. 'I told you everything you wanted to know. So can I - ' he tried not to sound pathetic. 'Can I _please_ have some aspirin now?'

Gibbs considered him for a moment.

'Help yourself.' He smirked, tossing the box onto the table before leaving the room.

But when DiNozzo opened the packet, he found nothing inside. He could have sworn he heard Gibbs laugh as he descended the stairs to the basement.

**_A/N: I'm really excited to hear your thoughts on this one. Spent a bit of time on this chapter and it's definitely my favourite so far. Please leave a review or PM me if you like, it always helps to hear your thoughts when I'm coming up with the next chapter :) Can't thank you enough for the reviews so far, without the encouragement I probably would have abandoned this one all together._**


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